I am Fabulous
by somethingaboutthemoon
Summary: Because I'm so sexily badass I make dementors look like a pet that you can put in a hamster wheel and watch run round the room. it is definitely most safe to say I'm so f****** gorgeous I give veela a run for their money.     Rated T for language.


**DISCLAIMER: I disclaim all off this, even the disclamation which is here only for the story and as I have nothing to do with the characters and anything you recognise in the story then technically I dont own this either :( think of it as a bumper package...**

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><p><strong>I am Fabulous<strong>

This is a fun game... want to play? Of course you do. Stupid question really when you find out who I am. Wait? I can't believe I just said that, damn I'm so hilarious, as if you wouldn't know who I was.

Okay so question 1. Guess who got voted witch weekly's buffest bod seven weeks in a row?  
>2. Guess who caught the snitch in less than ten minutes last Monday?<br>3. Guess who gets asked out three times daily, once in the morning whilst eating toast and pumpkin juice, once on the way to third lesson and once as they walk into the common room to turn in for the night.  
>If all you answers have been me then you are doing well but I will not have you taint my record by asking questions such as: Three times? Well that's not a lot. But it varies, my record was 27, I actually agreed to 23 that day, I skipped fifth lesson to go knob 'em. Why may you ask, well I was getting to that.<br>Because I'm so sexily badass I make dementors look like a pet that you can put in a hamster wheel and watch run round the room. Not in looks may I add, before you get the wrong idea, no, it is definitely most safe to say I'm so fucking gorgeous I give veela a run for their money.  
>4. (Yes that's right we're still playing, I know you probably got mesmerised by my amazing looks but who can blame you) Who is the genius who can turn even McGonagall's legs to jelly and is thinking of charging people to get a glimpse of their beautiful face? That's right, one flash of my killer smile and I could have a whole room of giggling girls unconscious till morning, why? Because I am Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and I'm the sexiest wizard going. That's right, Sirius Black, eat your heart out.<p>

"MALFOY, YOU INSUFFRIABLE GIT ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

Ohh yeah I forgot to mention, Rose Weasley, the one girl on earth I cannot seduce with a cheeky wink or flash of the Malfoy charm but as if I'd want to, what's most off putting is Weasley is just like me and yet she seems immune to my amazing charisma and subtle seductive hints,

"SHUT IT WEASEL AND GO TELL SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A SHIT,"

See what I mean? Who could resist gorgeous, amazing me?

Unfortunately Weasley caught me checking my reflection in my cauldron and she sneered as she saw my hands dart up to pat my hair that...um, what's her name, the brunette with the arse? Ahh well, she must have stuck her fingers in it and messed it up; even though I didn't care then I was thoroughly pissed off now, didn't she realise I had my appearance to uphold?

"Doing your hair Malfoy?" She sneered, "I really don't see the point, it will be ruffled by another girl in..." she looked at her wrist, "...about 15 minutes"

"Gotta keep up appearances though Weasley, oh wait, my mistake, you wouldn't know anything about that," I said coolly,

She snorted, not attractive.

I raised an eyebrow, so sexy.

"Seriously Malfoy, the amount of gel it takes to sleek your hair back, well let's just say, from where I'm standing, you could give Severus Snape a run for his money,"

"You're just jealous Weasley,"

"Jealous?" She snorted again, "Malfoy, I wouldn't trade you my fiery roots for your greasy mop head anyday,"

.? THAT BITCH WAS GOING TO DIE... Right after I'm done looking in my mirror I'd just conjured. On second thoughts she could have it right now.

So I leapt at her.  
>Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I'm shocked too. Scorpius Malfoy, in all my greatness having to touch a Weasley, as in have actual skin contact with her.<p>

She screamed, I knocked her off her stool lying on top of her on the floor, gross. This was disgusting, my poor hands. Now it is in my policy never to hurt a woman, but Weasley here must have been at least half alien to not find me even remotely attractive and she did after all commit a crime, that when I was in charge people would get a life sentence in Azkaban for.  
>I find me very attractive who am I kidding? I'm a fucking model, so she should be at least a bit jealous that she isn't as hot as I am but sitting on top of her struggling body in the middle of a potions class with around 15 pairs of eyes on you, you can sometimes begin to realise that the person you sat next to for the last seven years, your rival in school work, quidditch, dates, the whole shibang is hot, and now I noticed her features up close, she was pretty stunning to say the least. I'd never stopped to examine herit up close before but now that she was right there, I saw how pretty damn gorgeous she was.

Well damn, that's a bit of a blow.

And then she screamed, wrenching her arms free she slapped, my cheek, bringing me out of my epiphany.

I could feel it burning up instantly.

"YOU IDIOT" I bellowed, "WHAT IF IT BRUISES?"

If I was pissed before it was nothing compared to now. I stood up and stalked out the room, purposefully stamping on her hand and sighing satisfactorily when I heard that heart wrenching crunch and Weasley scream in what I thought was agony. Before I slammed the door shut I turned my head to see Weasley surrounded in a green bubbly liquid that was smoking. Okay, so you have to admit how right I was, that isn't normal and just proves my point, she isn't human.

"MALFOY YOU CRACKHEAD YOU JUST SPILLED MY POTION" she screamed so incredibly loudly I thought she was going to burst.

Scorpius you beast you. You are the shit. Prize time, best go find Georgina, I thought to myself but without realising I had started sprinting towards the prefects shower room to wash the gel out of my hair.

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><p><strong>thoughts?<strong>

**my first ever one-shot so be nice :D**

**thanks for reading and review please? they make me smile**

**hippo's, ninja's, flying pigs and candyfloss**

**theressomethingaboutthemoon x**


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